The most important question you can ask

“Are you ok?"

Such a simple question but it can open massive doors.

In Australia, an entire suicide prevention campaign has been built on this simple premise called RUOK Day and today it is in its fourth year.

The beauty of the RUOK? campaign is that it gives us all something to do something very simple and achievable. It strengthens the everyday ties we have with friends family work colleagues GPs - even complete strangers.

There are many steps on the ladder before we feel so bad that we wish weren't here any longer. Various levels of “not ok" add weight to our shoulders and push us further underwater. Starting a conversation can change a life and in the words of this campaign “stop little problems turning into big ones".

Depression and other mental health issues are the elephants in the room. Unresolved and untreated, they don't just lead you to make poor decisions about your health but erode the foundations of your general wellbeing. I know this because I've been there.

You cut yourself off from meaningful connections with other people or perhaps disconnect altogether. You cease to enjoy the things in life that you used to. What once was gentle cynicism can turn to resentment and anger. A few beers at the pub to relax turns into getting drunk every night.

Two of the most important things that keep you going - hope and options - seem to disappear. And when you feel like there are no options left? That's when you start looking for the exit.

Like many people, I had a childhood history of being teased and bullied. It stopped me from talking about how I was feeling for years.

Eventually, I got to my late twenties and crashed without really understanding why. Despite all that I had achieved and the wonderful people I had in my life - including a partner I'd been with for ten years - my life inexplicably seemed to amount to nothing.

A visit to the doctor (diagnosis: depression), then a psychiatrist (diagnosis: bipolar), then another psychiatrist (diagnosis: bipolar + anxiety), a couple of years riding on the medication merry-go-round, and seeing a counsellor and I finally got to the stage where I felt self-aware enough to analyse my feelings and understand how my brain was working.

This whole process could have been a lot less painful if I'd started talking sooner. As the motto for RUOK Day goes if I'd “stopped little problems from becoming big ones."

I'm hoping that people will feel safe enough to share their stories today to help themselves and others to ask the question “are you ok" and really listen for the answer.

Because the price to be paid for not reaching out when we need to is far too high.

Written by Christopher Banks.

Christopher Banks is a filmmaker-journalist and musician with experience of bipolar disorder. Originally from Auckland New Zealand he now lives in Melbourne. He blogs daily at www.bipolarbear.co.nz